


His Ethereal Existence

by seoktothegyu



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, bit of a grown-up seokgyu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-24
Packaged: 2019-11-04 23:43:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17907947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seoktothegyu/pseuds/seoktothegyu
Summary: Mingyu left Seokmin the night before their wedding. 5 years later, they meet each other again.





	His Ethereal Existence

**Author's Note:**

> I finally have a contribution to the seokgyu tag!!! Who else loves seokgyu as much as I do?? Do let me know what you think of the story, I would really appreciate it. I have another one in the works and it's most certainly longer (and I mean, LONGER) than this one so please anticipate it!

                It’s almost Christmas season again; my least favourite time of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not an atheist or a wanna-be hipster or anything like that, I have nothing against my religion (I am a Christian, in case you’re wondering). It’s just that something devastating and unforgettable has happened to me and fate has heartlessly decided for it to happen exactly 10 days before Christmas day of the year 2000.

 

                You see, that “something devastating and unforgettable” was of my fiancé leaving me the night before our wedding. I was 25 years old when it happened. I’m 85 years old now and I still remember clearly the call I got from his father, telling me of him simply . . . leaving. We were not allowed to sleep together that night as it was part of the tradition. This meant I wasn’t there to demand for an explanation or – what I would have probably done – begged for him not to leave me. Up until now, I remember how lost I felt.  So I guess that explains the “unforgettable” part. And the “devastating” part? Come on, my would-be husband left me the night before our wedding! Hell, I think it’s self-explanatory. What we had was rare. The kind of love many people only get to watch on movies or read at books and dream to have for themselves. That explains why for months, I did not – _could not_ – talk to anyone or go out of my house until my mom had to physically force me to see the sunlight for once. Yes, I was broken, angry, depressed and everything in between but I did not hate him. I could never bring myself to hate him or even blame him for it. That’s how much I loved him. I still do, honestly. And the only person I hate here is myself. I hate myself for not having the guts to go after him. But knowing him, he would only hate me if I did. So instead I just wallowed in my own misery.

 

                So please excuse me if I don’t jump up in joy and excitement whenever it is time to flip the calendar to the last month of the year. But hey, at least something good came out of this lowest point in my life: it has taught me a lot of things.

 

                You don’t simply choose to move on.

 

                At one point you will realize that you _have_ to move on.

 

                People really do change.

 

                Time does not wait.

 

                It forces you to move forward.

 

                And to move forward, I did. I found a new love. Yes, it took me a while to get over my fiancé – correction: ex-fiancé – but what’s important is that I was able to do so. But I guess, I was never the same again.

 

                Anyway, I was 30 years old when I met him – my husband. It was not smooth sailing between us at first. I was quite . . . difficult to say the least. But thankfully, he was persistent. He knew of my past, well not exactly by detail, but he felt that something unpleasant happened that made me seem cold to him at first. He knew of my reservations and he accepted them all. So when I finally said yes to him, for him to be my boyfriend, I also told him – my husband – _things_ about him – my ex-fiancé. I did not tell him all though, I just can’t. I feel like what Mingyu and I once had was very special and delicate that I could never want to share it to anyone else. Ever. And again, my husband understood that a huge part of my heart still belongs to Mingyu. But what he did not know is that _all_ of my heart still belongs to Mingyu.

 

                Saying yes to my husband also made me realize that I have finally accepted the fact that Mingyu is not with me anymore, that I can be with someone that’s not him and still be happy – or at least, remotely close to being happy.

 

                On the afternoon of the 16th of December 2005 – the date of what would have been Mingyu and I’s 5th anniversary – a month after my husband and I got together, _he_ visited me. Imagine my surprise after seeing him there, sitting on my porch steps waiting for me. He was still the same; his smile did not change, there are still those cute canines that I love; his eyes did not change, he still looks at me as if he’s memorizing my entire face.

 

                No, we did not cry nor ran towards each other and hugged. We did not have a “grand reunion”. We just sat there at the bench by the front yard and tried to catch up with everything that happened within the span of 5 years while we also recalled things that happened in the past and imagined _the_ future – yes, it wasn’t _our_ future anymore. We chatted, joked around, acted silly, and laughed. There was no mention of _that_ night. And I was actually very grateful. I have missed him and finally, we saw each other again. I did not want to ruin this by pointing fingers and being bitter. I told him things about my work, my new relationship, my family, everything. And he listened to every word with a smile.

 

                We really had a great time. But just as the sky started to change its colour from light blue to the clouds being tinged with orange, he said he needed to leave. So, as we were standing up, I finally asked what was on my mind the moment I saw him at my door: “Why did you come to see me, Gyu?”

 

                With a sad smile, his eyes started to water. I couldn’t help it, this all felt too familiar, so when a tear fell from his left eye, I instinctively raised my right hand to wipe it off. Then, he grabbed my face and stared intently into my eyes.

 

                “They told me that you’ve moved on, that you’re finally able to smile again. So I wanted to see for myself.”

 

                Of course, that caused a smile to resurface on my face.

 

                “God, I missed that smile, Seokmin. And I could stare at that forever,” he paused, looking down and sighing deeply. “But I really need to go.” He dropped his hands to his sides and started to walk away from me. Again.

 

                “Mingyu, when will you be coming back?” I could not help but call after him.

 

                He looked back with a smile playing around his lips. He shrugged, “How about you come and visit me instead?” His tone was part teasing and part hopeful. But what he was going to say next held no humour. “Happy 5th anniversary, love. I’ll be waiting.”

 

                I did not come visit him.

 

                Well, at least not right away. Christmas passed and then New Year’s and I still hadn’t come to see him. I did tell my husband about Mingyu visiting me and he actually seemed happy for me that Mingyu did what he did. My husband even encouraged me to come to Mingyu sooner. And I agreed. The truth is, I was only waiting for the 16th of January 2006 to arrive. That’s the date I planned to see him again. And when it did arrive, I did not know why but when I got to where he was, I was still surprised to see him there, waiting for me with a smile, as usual.

 

                Like before, we talked and talked for hours, only longer than last time. Though, like he said, it was indeed easier for him this way. And also like before, when we had to say good bye, he dropped something that almost made my heart stop, “Come and run away with me, Seokmin.”

 

                I wanted to say yes. Believe me, I really did. But I could not leave everything behind, at least not yet. So I told him no. And he did not seem the least bit disappointed.

 

                “I’ll be waiting for you then. Like I always do. You do often take too long to get ready.” He finished with a wink.

 

                I had to laugh at that. Even after more than 5 years of not physically seeing each other, he still knows me too well. 

 

 

***

 

 

                For years and years, that has become our routine. Every 16th of the month, I would come to visit him. And every single one of those dates were better than the previous ones. We never missed a date, much less ran out of things to talk about – although I think I did most of the talking while he just listened, commenting and making a joke here and there. Even if I was very busy and could not come to him, he would just come and visit me instead. He also never missed a date wherein he would ask me to run away with him. And I always told him no with a heavy heart.

 

                When my husband and I lost our second child to leukemia, I was so close to running away with Mingyu. See, I never told my husband about Mingyu constantly asking me to run away with him instead. Like everything I share with Mingyu, I feel like it’s too precious to share it with anyone else.

 

                My second child was only 8 years old when I came to wake her up one day only to find her laying completely still, unbreathing. I could not describe how shattered I felt while rushing her to the hospital and after hearing the doctor confirm the bad news. He told me my daughter died in the middle of the night. I laid there on the hospital bed, feeling like dying as well. I did not know and care how but Mingyu was immediately there. And when I was left alone in my room, weak and crying for my lost child, seeing Mingyu’s face brought in me a sense of relief and assurance. He laid down beside me while I wept on his chest. Once I had calmed down, he asked me the same question again. This time, I said yes in a heartbeat.

 

                He was surprised by how fast my response was; I think he even seemed disappointed. And that expression of him confused me. Did he not want me to come with him?

 

                “What’s wrong, my love?” I asked him.

 

                He leaned sideways to touch his forehead against mine. He told me that he loves me so much but he would never be able to forgive himself if he let me run away with him that time. As much as he wanted me to be with him, he knows that it is not the right thing to do, “ _at least not right now_ ”.

 

                “Plus,” he added. “Your husband needs you right now more than ever. And your other baby will surely miss playing with me every once in a while. We can’t leave yet.”

 

                Of course he was right. And so I took back my answer to his question and saved it for later. I just did not know how long that “later” will take to arrive.

 

 

 

                “What are you thinking about, my love?” Mingyu combing a few stray grey hairs away from my face broke me from my reverie.

 

                My thoughts snapped back to the current reality. Mingyu and I are still sitting at our usual spot on a bench near his place on the 16th of December 2060 – today is our would-be 60th wedding anniversary. Mingyu was looking at me expectantly. As I looked back at him, I was hit once more by the realization of someone as handsome and precious as him could be mine and mine alone. I lifted my right hand, which is slightly shaking from age, to touch his left cheek. I marvelled at how after all these years, his smile did not change, there are still that cute canines that I love, his eyes did not change, he still looks at me as if he’s memorizing my entire face. He really was still the same.

 

                I thanked God once again for Mingyu’s ethereal existence; so ethereal in fact that He decided that Mingyu was too precious for this world so He took him from me on the night before our wedding _._

 

 

 

_It was already late that night and out of pure excitement for the wedding, Mingyu and I could not sleep. He called me from the other room, saying he could not wait to share his last name with me and that he was making sure if I was feeling completely okay – he knew that I have the tendency to be nervous over important occasions. He asked me if I wanted or needed anything. Being the needy guy that I was, I told him I was craving for some ramen – my favorite. And so, being the loving and caring fiancé that he was, he went out immediately to buy me some._

 

_A few minutes later, the news covered a story wherein a certain truck driver – now locked up in jail – driving from a few blocks away was feeling very sleepy and, in a hurry, to go home. In his haste, he did not notice the red light in front of him nor the male pedestrian carrying a plastic bag full of ramen crossing the intersection. A few thousand people watching on the television saw a tall, brown-haired guy running to the scene, shaking and crying, demanding to see his fiancé. Unfortunately, he was too late for the body was already taken by the paramedics._

 

 

 

                I did not see him again for the next five years. I only came to “see” him on the day of his funeral but after that, I never came back to visit his grave. And he told me the reason why he did not come to visit me sooner was because he was giving me time to move on. So when he found out from his “friends from upstairs” about me having a new boyfriend, he knew that I can finally handle seeing him again, no matter how short that meeting might take. He also told me his soul weakens after being away from his grave for too long. That is why it is easier for the both of us if it was me who would come visit him. And we would usually sit at the bench near his grave – where I always find him sitting while waiting for me.

 

                “Don’t you ever get bored here, Gyu?” I asked instead of answering him.

 

                His eyebrows lifted in slight surprise from my sudden question. “I do at times, if I’m being honest, but I just remind myself that you will be coming back next month and then I’m excited and feeling bright all over again. Plus,” his tone suddenly turned humorous. “I have all these souls around to keep me company.” He winked. And then he turned serious again. “And I still have someone that I’m waiting for. We got separated early on so I’m making up for lost time. I just could not permanently leave without him.” He wiped my tears away before kissing my eyelids that have been tired and worn out by years and years of circumstances.

 

                I looked around us, at the old, dry and fallen leaves on the grass, at his grave, and finally, at the rectangular vacant space of ground that has been empty for 60 years beside his grave.

 

                I replayed in my head images of my husband at home, happily playing with our grandkids, of my only son – unfortunately, he forgot about his older ghost playmate as he grew up – at his office busy running his and his wife’s company, and of my 85th birthday celebration when everyone of my family had a very happy reunion, with Mingyu who kept sneaking in to give me a birthday kiss.

 

                I looked back at Mingyu’s face. I looked into his eyes and found myself drowning on those deep black orbs.

 

                People really do change. _Except for Mingyu._

 

                Time does not wait. _For it has left Mingyu frozen in time at age 25._

 

                “You don’t have to wait any longer, my love. I am finally ready to run away with you.”

 

                Mingyu could not believe what he was hearing, that much I could tell. “Are you sure?”

 

                I nodded. “I have never been so sure of anything in my life other than this. Except for the fact that ever since I met you, it had been clear to me since day one that you are the only person I will follow everywhere. I want to finally be with you, Mingyu. I want to start the next steps of whatever it will be with you.”

 

                By way of answering, Mingyu quickly stood up and offered me his left hand.

 

                “Let’s go?” Mingyu asked with tear-stained cheeks.

 

                With tears in my own eyes – tears of joy as well – I shakily grabbed his hand. And in that instant, I saw myself change back to my 25-year-old self, leaving my life as Seokmin to finally start my eternal life as Mingyu’s Seokmin. And to start the euphoria of _our_ life together, we sealed it with a deep kiss.

 

 

 

                On their way to paradise, they were welcomed by the angels. And one of those angels was carrying another angel, a baby girl – Seokmin’s second child.

 

  

*** 

 

 

                The next day, the news covered the story of an old man’s cold body lying on a bench in front of a vacant space beside a man’s grave with a quote that says “Kim Mingyu, a man too precious for this world.” Coincidentally, the quote was written from 60 years ago by the same guy who will soon be buried next to his grave.

 

                Back at Seokmin’s house, after watching the news, everyone and everything was chaotic and frantically moving. They seem to have forgotten about their excitement for Christmas which was then replaced by fear and worry for their beloved Seokmin. Except for the man of the house – Seokmin’s husband – sitting calmly and quietly in front of the television, smiling and feeling happily proud of his husband for deciding to finally put his happiness first: to start his forever with Mingyu.

 

 

 

_END._


End file.
